So yeah, Life happened.
If anyone is reading this (i doubt they are), they are probably wondering where I have been. My last blog post was… holy cow! january? so yeah, more than half a year ago. Well, I’ll tell you about it. I started blogging after some things changed in my life. Nothing major, but I started to have doubts about my study and my ecducational trajectory, and I needed to get some things off my chest (also a lot of other ongoing stuff). I love writing and introspection, so it seemed like a great idea. But the thing is, blogging takes time. And when I finally decided to quit this study, and with a lot of other stuff in need of figuring out, it kindof fell to the wayside. I kinda got a bit burnt out with everything, and I just didn’t have the energy to also blog on the side. I even got some DM-burnout and have stopped DM’ing my D&D campaign for a bit.
But, I pushed through. When everything settled down, I had stopped with my study and figured out (hopefully) the right one (which I have just two weeks ago! more on that later). I found a nice part-time job to spend the time til my next study started in september, and worked three days a week in a retail store. And I just kept going. I didn’t worry about DM’ing for a bit, I came out with my new name and pronouns to my family, which was just soooo liberating. I met up with a group of young queer folks and met some like-minded people. I just worked and didn’t think about stuff too much. Also it was probably nice socializing with the folks at work and talking nothing too serious. I thought about blogging sometimes but it didn’t feel right yet.
And now I feel like I kind of got things back on track. 7 months passed and I do feel better about myself. Like I mentioned, two weeks ago I started a new study again, and so far it feels pretty good. It feels nice to have this purpose again, i guess, after not knowing what I was going to do for so long. I also made the huge decision to start this schoolyear with my new name and pronouns. Sanne is now here for the world to see! It feels soo glorious that I don’t have to hide who I am anymore.
So where does that leave us? I feel like I’m in a pretty good spot right now, and while it is still a process trying to figure out the new situation with new people, I want to start expressing myself again. I wanna blog, I wanna play D&D and tell stories, I wanna dress myself in cute, gothy, thrifty black, purple and rainbow! I wanna be queer and out and proud. There will probably be hiccups along the road. Many, many more hiccups, if I’m going to guess, but I fully believe I can get through everything just fine. And what does it mean for this website? Well, expect to see a lot more content on here again. Cyrus and the fledglings are still out there, don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about them, and I do want to talk some more about my DM-dip and about coming out to the world. In my first post I talked about making a post at least once a week, but tbh that is probably not gonna happen. However, consistency is key, so I do want to upload semi-regularly. At the moment I am still probing things with my new study so that will take up some of my energy, but I’m sure that will smooth itself out in time.
For now, I’ll sign off with hope for the future.
Love
~Sanne